28/10/06

// feeling ::
// prayer for ::

I went for svc today. In the morning tried to do some solid studying but I found it extremely hard to concentrate for a long period of time.

Went for svc. Felt worried.

Reached Expo mrt at 4:30 but Mehdi, Alissa, Meijuan and Meiling reached at 5pm. We chionged back for svc. Mike, Mehdi and I couldnt find the rest of the cell, so we sat by ourselves first. During Praise, felt sad.

After svc, went for cg briefing. Felt ashamed by the poor turnout today. 4 members didnt come and about 5 expected friends didnt come either. 2 of which were mine -.-

Then talked with Wendy, Ken and Mike. Felt shocked over something I just learnt.

On the way home, felt dejected about some things. After Mike and Ken left at Bedok stop, Dejin and I continued talking. We talked mostly about arise and build and sakae sushi. Decided to go for Sakae tmr IF I have the cash. Felt excited

I put my stuff down in my room when I got home, and at the same time I thought about a lot of things. What I was so distracted with in svc. Suddenly felt agitated and angry. I almost slammed my door shut when I walked out of it to the bathroom.

I got so frustrated and threw my stuff down. I slammed my hands on the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. Then I asked God how come everything was crumbling like that.

Why am I taken so lightly? Why is my friendship with them taking a dip when they know very well that they're two of the most important people in my life? Did they overlook how I would feel?

I was feeling so upset. I didnt care about their reason for doing that. I just want to know how I can get them to come back.

I know it wasnt God's plan...for all that to happen.

I really hate that stupid little red guy with lame horns, a tiny black heart at the bottom of his left foot, a dull spear he uses to annoyingly poke people, bad breath, lame mind-manipulating games he plays with ppl, a big brain he uses for the wrong purposes and a sadistic mind.

Oh, and his name starts with L. No, its not loser, although thats one of my favourite nickname for him.

I'm irritated by him.

Okay, I shall not let him get his way by also falling into the trap so I'll just ignore him from now on -.-

WWJD about this?